What do I mean when I say my writings are initiations? What are initiations, anyways? Are they rites of passage? Moments of renewal? Redeemers of human loneliness?
My felt sense of an initiation is a darkness that is at once ineffable and self-aware. I imagine stairs suspended in a dream scape, or a water in which one surfaces by drowning.
Culturally, we may think of initiations as the many traditions which mark our sojourn into adulthood, into womanhood, into manhood. Generally, initiations are the bridge between innocence and knowledge and accompanied by a new sense of belonging – to a social circle, or even a mystical fellowship.
In the Tantric tradition, initiation can also refer to energetic awakening and realization, in which the ordinary is transformed into the sacred, and sexuality becomes a vehicle for the divine feminine to celebrate and create, to guide and express.
The idea of conceptualizing my writings as initiations first came to me when I was trying to understand the shared ground between writing, embodiment, and identity. The simple truth is that through storytelling, whether through spoken word, movement, or poetry, I am deeply touched and transformed. This process ripens intent, initiates dialogue, and ritualizes the link between the transcendent and the soul.
It holds space for inter-psychic dynamics to dance and for an opening to emerge that evokes the holy – as in a speechless prayer or timeless friendship. Working in this way is a little like meditating in the graveyard, not only in its joyful haunting and haunting joy, but in the way it roots one simultaneously in the universal and the impermanent – the loss and the flow, the grief and the beauty, the synergy and the transience…